Dead Beer

Beer, a heady blend of easily ingested calories and happy delirium, all wrapped up in a cold glass coat. Never mind taste, reach for your mass brewed lager of choice and don't stop until you're choking on your own vomit while dancing face down with the pavement. Nothing on the planet brings about liver disease with a bigger smile than beer. Bless its soul and all that sailed away with it.

For all you louts, four pints of dribbling fun have been created by the corporate brewers. Like it strong and fighty? Skulla Artois does the job. Cheap and Dutch more your thing? Spinekan will help you forget. Prefer it pale and American? Bludweiser has your back. Or, do you like it thick, black, Irish and chewy? Grimmass will get your gut Dublin in pain (I'm ashamed).

There's only 30 in each round (this is a crap party, mate) until the bar closes. They're about 27mm tall, crafted out of the finest hard enamels on the planet and drunkenly pushed through drunkenly designed backing cards by a drunk whilst drinking.