The Andrexorcist

As we emerge from our lockdown cocoons and transition into the next phase of life like hairy brown moths, let us take a beat to reflect on what we learned from being shut indoors away from much that we love. The first lockdown lesson we learned is the how the selfish and greedy among us value toilet paper above the basic comforts of their fellow human beings. I was fine in the TP drought of 2020, I only use fresh puppies. Top tip - if you wash a puppy at 30 degrees on slow you can usually get a second go out of them. It's environmentally sound.

65 of the finest quilted, scented, balm infused 3 ply rolls are left on the shelves for you to stock up with before the next wave. Your arse will thank you.